Cappuccetto...Red

Ecco un'improbabile traduzione inglese della fiaba di Cappuccetto Rosso:

THE BELLISSIM STORY OF CAPPUCCETT RED

One mattin her mamma dissed: "Dear Cappuccett, take this cest to the
nonn,but attention to the lup that is very ma very kattiv! And torn prest!
Good luck! And in bocc at the lup!".

Cappuccett didn't capish very well this ultim thing but went away, da
sol,with the cest.
Cammining cammining, in the cuor of the forest, at acert punt she
incontered the lup, who dissed: "Hi! Piccula piezz'e girl! 'Ndove do you go?"

"To the nonn with this little cest, which is little but it is full of
sacc of chocolate and biscots and panettons and more and mirtills", she dissed.

"Ah, mannagg 'a Maruschella (maybe an _expression com: what a cul that
had) dissed the lup, with a fium of saliv out of the bocc. And so the
lup dissed: "Beh, now I dev andar because the telephonin is squilling, sorry."

And the lup went away, but not very away, but to the nonn's House.

Cappuccett Red, who was very ma very lent, lent un casin, continued for
her sentier in the forest.

The lup arrived at the house, suoned the campanel, entered, and after
saluting the nonn, magned her in a boccon.

Then, after sputing the dentier, he indossed the ridicol night berret
and fikked himself in the let.

When Cappuccett Red came to the fint nonn's house, suoned and entered.
But when the little and stupid girl saw the nonn (non was the nonn, but
the lup, ricord?) dissed:

"But nonn, why do you stay in let?".
And the nonn-lup: "Oh, I've stort my cavigl doing aerobics!".

"Oh, poor nonn!", said Cappuccett (she was more than stupid, I think,
wasn't she?), then she dissed:
"But...what big okks you have!! Do you bisogn some collir?".
"Oh, no! It's for see you better, my dear (stupid) little girl", dissed
the nonn-lup.

Then cappuccett, who was more dur than a block of marm: "But what big
oreks you have! Do you have the Orekkions?".
And the nonn-lup: "Oh, no! It is to ascolt you better".

And Cappuccett (that I think was now really rincoglionited) said:
"But what big dents you have!".
And the lup, at this point dissed: "It is to magn you better!". And
magned really tutt quant the poor little girl.

But (ta dah!) out of the house a simpatic, curious and innocent
cacciator of frod sented all and dissed:
"Accident! A lup! Its pellicc vals a sac of solds".
And so, spinted only for the compassion for the little girl, butted a
terr many kils of volps, fringuells and conigls that he had ammazzed
till that moment, imbracced the fucil, entered in the stanz and killed the lup.

Then squarced his panz (being attent not to rovin the pellicc) and tired
fora the nonn (still viv) and Cappuccett (still rincoglionited).

And so, at the end, the cacciator of frod vended the pellicc and
guadagned honestly a sacc of solds. The nonn magned tutt the leccornies
that were in the cest.

And so, everybody lived felix and content (maybe not the lup!).

ho capito.. dev'essere lo stesso traduttore di Birra calda di Norvegia Hogorocchio...

"Sono molto di Birrati a globi - abba nicchti conne si verde verglicchi con il Olio di Hogorocchio. Fabriccato e imbottiliate in Norvegia, il Olio di Hogorocchio macti molto mille di trinkerati di Birra in urbi e orbi su glucchlicche consomenti di Hogorocchio"

Grandioso!
L'ho capito persino io. Altro che Esperanto.

Bellissima!!!

Red, e' da lacrime!!

Very very divertent !!!